What makes for good leadership in a hybrid working environment? The answer is twofold. On the one hand, you need to engage with yourself. You can find more about this in my blog. Secondly, it requires the ability to put yourself in the other person's shoes. A fine art that we want to dedicate ourselves to.
In my clarification-oriented therapy training with Professor Dr Rainer Sachse, I learned about a model that I like to use in my coaching sessions - and which is a good tool for getting to know the needs of my counterpart. Sachse calls it the six relationship motives.
What is behind the motifs?
Sachse's relationship motives refer to fundamental needs and motives that shape interpersonal behaviour. The aim is to improve understanding of one's own emotional needs and behaviour in relationships. They help to identify the causes of certain behavioural patterns and offer approaches for psychotherapeutic work to improve interpersonal relationships and emotional well-being.
The six motifs are as follows:
- Recognition
- Importance
- Solidarity
- Reliability
- Autonomy
- Boundaries
In order to build a good relationship, managers first get to know the motives. Everyone has them. They are therefore general - and depending on the experiences one has had in life, they yearn for satisfaction differently from person to person. If a motive is unsatisfied, it is up to the manager to change this. We speak of a complementary relationship when people actively and empathetically consider the needs and desires of others and adjust their behaviour and words accordingly.
How do I find out? Observe, observe, observe. A manager needs the ability to recognise what employees react to and how. We often only do this unconsciously - from now on we should do it consciously.
Someone who is looking for Recognition strives for appreciation, praise and positive feedback. They want to play an important role or have an elevated status - in other words, they want to be important. Managers are advised to give these employees positive feedback and to package criticism as gently as possible, as a Trojan horse. Criticism is packaged in such a way that the other person could become even better if they do XY.
The Importance is related to recognition. Importance is about the self. It is about the importance of the person - less about the importance of performance. In many cases, compliments satisfy the importance motive. You want to be signalled that you play an important role in another person's life. Giving compliments is one form of this. But be careful: giving compliments in the workplace is like hitting a pot in a minefield. It's all too easy to be accused of sexual harassment. In my coaching sessions, male managers report that they no longer give female employees compliments. This is an issue that should be defined in the corporate culture.
People with a pronounced Solidarity motif need support. They want help and to feel that they are not alone - especially in difficult situations. Many people find it difficult to ask for help and support. This could be interpreted as a weakness. Managers should take requests seriously and provide support.
People with a pronounced motive for Reliability want to be able to rely on words and actions. Reliability is closely linked to solidarity. Communicating processes, being transparent, being on the side - these are recommendations for action for managers when employees need solidarity.
I realise that the motif Autonomy is strongly pronounced among many managers. If an employee strives for this, he/she wants to be able to decide freely. They need the feeling of freedom, also in order to shape processes. Instead of making recommendations, I involve these employees in the decision-making process.
The sixth motif refers to Boundaries. Boundaries and autonomy are usually linked. These people need their personal boundaries to be accepted. Otherwise they quickly feel that their own boundaries are being trampled on.
Managers must recognise the boundaries here - but also explain when these need to be exceeded in certain situations.
Everyone has motives that are deprived, i.e. not satisfied. Some more, others less. It is also helpful to know your own motives that want to be satisfied. Managers, depending on their hierarchical position and corporate culture, rarely get their weak points reflected. In this case, another sparring partner - such as an external coach - is needed to get to the bottom of them.
Every person is individual. Motives are developed differently. Identifying these is a major challenge for managers. We know from experience that every person has at least one or two unsatisfied motives - and there can be a wide range in terms of their expression. As a manager, it is important to recognise the other person's motives and act in a way that complements them. This greatly improves the working relationship and therefore also the work results. So it's a win-win situation for both sides. It's worth it!
More on this topic in the Podcast "Find the core".